“Emiline, those details don’t matter. I had my reasons for changing it.”
“But so much of the rest of it is true. Why change something so crucial?”
“Like I said, I had my reasons.”
He was so much more intimidating than I remembered. “Are we gonna talk about what happened, Jase, or just keep beating around the bush?”
He looked behind me when the door jingled. “Em, you had to have known I was gonna write this book someday.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I didn’t.”
“I told you I would find you, didn’t I?”
Synapses were misfiring in my brain left and right. This is how he was going to find me? What did he mean?
Still looking behind me, he said, “Do you know that guy?”
I turned to see Trevor leaning against the door with his hands buried in his pockets. Shit. “Um, yeah. He’s my boyfriend.”
Jase didn’t miss a beat. “Do you want to introduce us?”
“Not really.”
He threw his hand up and waved Trevor over. “Hey, man. Come on over.”
With my back to Trevor, I whispered to Jase, “I’m going to kill you in your sleep.”
“Does that mean you’re gonna sleep with me first?” he whispered back. “Not a bad way to go.”
I was a nervous, fumbling idiot.
Once Trevor got to the table, I awkwardly introduced them. “Jase, this is Trevor. You might recognize him. He was the star quarterback at Berkeley.”
“Nice to meet you,” Jase said as the two men pleasantly shook hands. “I’m not much of a sports guy, but I remember hearing your name when Cal won the championship a few years back.”
Oh Jesus Lord, now he’s trying to charm Trevor too?
Gorgeous Agent Andrea walked up and looped her arm through Jase’s. They clearly had more than a working relationship. Damn them. “Interview. Remember, Jay?”
He pulled her arm out of his and put some distance between them. “Right, the interview. Well, Emiline, it was nice seeing you. Thank you for coming. Trevor, it was nice to meet you as well.” They shook hands. “I have to run.” He turned and faced me. “Em . . .” he said, looking right into my eyes and smiling. I felt my knees go weak. “I’m really sorry I can’t stay longer and fulfill your desire to berate me in public. Maybe we can do this again some other time.” He chuckled and then walked away.
Asshole. I was seeing red.
“Wait!” I shouted. “Why did you write it from my point of view?”
He continued walking but called back, “It’s just a book!” But I knew it wasn’t. Jase was always deliberate. He took the long view of everything, even at the age of eight.
I started to hear a beeping sound in my mind, like a bomb was about to explode. How could I let him walk away without getting the answers I wanted? The beeping was getting faster and faster as I walked out of the bookstore toward my car.
“I have to get out of here. I swear to god my heart is going to explode,” I said as Trevor trailed behind me.
“You’re like this in every situation. Ticking time bomb, Emi. Calm down—nothing happened.”
When I reached the driver’s-side door, I turned around and leaned against it. “Why are you here, Trevor?”
“Cara texted me. She told me what was going on, so I came over. I came here to support you. But once again, you don’t appreciate it.”
I didn’t know whether to be moved or irritated. “I don’t need rescuing.”
“You’re clearly very upset,” he said.
“Of course I’m upset! That guy in there wrote a book about my awful, terrible, traumatic childhood, which he must know I can’t bear to relive, and he didn’t even ask me for permission! He hasn’t even tried to talk to me in twelve years! And he won! He published a whole novel before I’ve even figured out how to write a decent short story that my own boyfriend would like. I can’t handle any of this.”
Trevor looked thoughtful for once. “Do you have feelings for him? Is that why all of this is getting to you? What do you want, Emi? Do you want to be with that guy in there?”
I took three deep, cleansing breaths, and then I knew. I knew there was no point in hiding the truth any longer. Not from myself, and not from Trevor. As much as we’d been struggling lately, he didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve it.